The power of / Continuous cycle

The power of (10 min)

Permission. The power of a statement. Andy sat at the far end of the sofa, Fourth of July, thunder outside.

Someone was asking what we each wanted. I think it was someone “while I’m up... what would you like, can I get you a drink? What can I get you?”

Andy said “permission.” And then he said “when anyone asks me ‘if [you] could have anything,’ I say permission.”

I loved this answer. And this is my dearest, favorite thing about people, I decided. The way we can talk at a party that is in a loose place, beyond the air in front of our face, but not far beyond it. Saying almost to himself and then smiling when someone caught the ball he threw out.

“Permission?” “Yes!” he said, and mildly repeated the same words. It was a good one, I thought. That’s a good one. I rolled the word like a slip, like permiss, parmesan, persimmon. My flash, the vision that came, was the genie with three wishes and so yes of course, smartly ask for three more wishes. The miracle of logic laid on top of magic. Oh Jesus, the water and the wine at parties.

That is what I love about people. Present or loosely there, we watched a clip of Old Gregg and someone explained it was a [comedy] sketch show and I threw out “this isn’t real?” and my mild comment was received with a round of laughs.

It feels like tossing a ball, actually. And as if I could wear the right boots—red soft stained leather, and a pale blue mini skirt and a deep red jersey top. As if — but not only as if, because I was wearing those things, I was at this party and I wasn’t lost in myself.

Continuous cycle (1.5 min)

If you are ready to give up, remember it’s a loop, she said. Keep walking. Now the thing is, you might misjudge the size of the lake. But as long as the water is on your side, you’ll eventually close the loop and find resolution.

It’s a continuous cycle. Surrender and giving up are not the same. Surrender to the circle.