Embodied healing
Last weekend a dear friend reached out looking for some reassurance. Their heart, like so many hearts right now, was breaking in ways they didn’t know if they could bear. They were sinking, and they wondered how we, their friends, were coping, and what ideas or resources we might have to buoy them.
First my head (brain, superego, inner critic, pick your name tag for it) did its thing: asking why I’m not also freaking out; judging me for not giving enough of my attention to the news, not bearing enough witness to the atrocities, not being scared enough, angry enough, prepared enough. (Does yours do this?)
Then I did what I’ve been training to do: left my superego to its nattering, and went looking for my body. Lately I’ve been doing this by feeling my bones. I know, huh? But try it—simply become aware of your spine, hip bones, femurs, shins, whatever your arm bones are called. All the little spidey bones in your feet and hands.
What does it feel like, to be in your bones?
Bringing our attention to our skeleton is a pretty accessible and nifty way to become literally centered in our bodies and find calm. It’s also a great way to connect to guidance, since the eternal part of us lives in our very core.
Cool cool, but what do we, ya know, do?
Right, what does it look like in practice? What happens when we keep our attention on this very real thing inside, versus spending it on on all that we can’t change?
For me, it looks like loving the folks in my life as hard and sincerely as I can, and tending to the flora and fauna in my orbit. It looks like helping where it’s obvious I can do so, even if it’s a teeny act, and only if it’s something I have the capacity to do (otherwise, I’m only hurting myself and watering down my impact).
My superego has stories about my capacity. My body knows exactly how much I have to give—or not.
It’s about giving the heartbreak and fear space to exist and move through, rather than squashing it down, which only guarantees that it will pop out later in some distorted, magnified form.
The body is where all this stuff lives; we cannot think it away.
I treat this little body with little walks through my little world: neighborhoods, hiking trails, campus. Connecting silently with the beings I pass, sending out love, receiving it from the plants and the critters and the other awake humans doing the same thing.
It’s an exchange between energy fields; no words needed.
What is your experience of being connected to yourself, your body? In what ways do you feel genuinely helpful—or helped—right now?
The longer view & the wider web
I also find that being connected to the part of me that’s eternal helps me view this moment relative to all of history—how the mess of now may actually be an indicator that things are changing for real. As my wise friend Tim Flynn says in this deeply grounding post, what’s happening now is the inevitable backlash in the face of unmistakable progress. The backlash may not resolve itself in our lifetime, but it’s not an indicator of the overall direction of things. In fact, it’s the opposite.
And of course, no way any of this happens in a vacuum. It’s essential to reach for support, exactly like my friend did. It’s feeling massively important these days to generously share even the tiniest spark of joy or wisdom we encounter—and to ask for it when we’re running low). You never know what could save someone’s heart, mind, or yeah, even life.
See the bottom of this post for some resources that have been helping me recently—and please share yours!
Exploring embodiment—and what is ours to do
In a time when the [horror] movie theater is flashing us endless pictures of what we can’t change, more and more folks really seem to be sitting with the question of what we can do—how we can help, connect, contribute.
This exploration requires embodiment. It takes letting our soul, our desire, our love speak through our physical form. The superego has too many stories (judgments, excuses) about all of this. When we’re in our heads asking these questions it’s often noisy, overwhelming, and all the answers conflict. That’s our signal to ask our bodies, whose answers are quieter, clearer, and often impossibly simple.
In the coming months we’ll be offering some events that help us connect more deeply to our embodied knowing, including Soul Writing in the Woods: a day of hiking and writing here in Northern California in May.
And stay tuned for another 6-week series that explores embodied writing: connecting first to these beautiful bones of ours and the essence they carry, and letting that wisdom inform our expression and perhaps our action. As always, Mini-Retreats are about connecting to ourselves and letting the writing speak from there.
May these days bring you as much wonder as they do heartbreak. It can all live together.
About those resources…
Here are a few writings that have been buoying me these days. What are yours? Please share in the comments.
Inciting Joy, Ross Gay
The Pivot Year, Brianna Wiest
(I’m actually part of a WhatsApp group whose phenomenal organizer shares both a recording and text version of the day’s wisdom every day. Every! Day! It’s open to womxn—be in touch if you’d like to join.)This missive from Hopi Chief White Eagle:
This moment that mankind is experiencing now can be seen as either a door or a hole. The decision to fall into the hole or go through the door is yours. If you absorb information 24 hours a day, with negative energy, constantly nervous, and pessimistic, you will fall into this hole. But if you take the opportunity to look at yourself, use the time to rethink life and death, to care for yourself and others, you are walking through the portal. Keep your home, keep your body safe. Connect with your spiritual home. When you take care of yourself, you take care of everyone else. Don't underestimate the spiritual dimension of this crisis. Take the perspective of an eagle that sees everything from above with a broader perspective. There is a social issue in this crisis but also a spiritual issue. They both go hand in hand. Without the social dimension we fall into bigotry. Without the spiritual dimension, we perish in pessimism and meaninglessness. you ready to pass this crisis. Pack your toolbox and use all the tools at your disposal. Learn the resistance from the example of the Indian and African people: We are and still are being threatened, extinct. But we never stopped singing, dancing, building bonfires and having joy. Don't feel guilty for feeling happy in these difficult times. It doesn't help at all to be sad or angry. Resistance is resistance through joy! You have every right to be strong and positive. And there's no other way to do this than by adopting a beautiful, cheerful and empathetic attitude. This has nothing to do with alienation (ignorance of the world) - It's a resistance strategy. When we enter the door, we are given a new worldview because we have faced our fears and overcome adversity. That's all you can do now: - Seek solace in the storm - Keep calm, pray daily - Make it a habit to meet the Holy everywhere, everyday. Show resistance through art, joy, trust and love.
Finally, a writing prompt:
Set a timer for 8 minutes and keep your hand moving to the prompt “In my bones…”
If you’d like (we’d sure like!) please share your piece in the comments.
