Countdown

The other day, I took down my 2024 calendar. Then, superstitious, I kept the December page. It's not over yet, this year, and it seemed wrong to discard the final days of the month while still counting them down.

I'm both impatient for the year to end, and yearning to stay in the in-between quietude. On Christmas, I cooked a midday meal and slowly cleaned my office. I recycled paper, and wrote new reminders to get things done after the holiday. Even with all this ease and space, I didn't feel like making dinner. We had scrambled eggs and toasted bagels -- with a bit of roasted broccoli sprinkled with parmesan. Breakfast anytime is my favorite sustenance. Unless there's a cookie nearby, of course.

Both the January and February calendars are newly installed on my bulletin board, waiting for this year's countdown to be complete. Already, there are events I could add to the blank squares. I'm just not ready yet.

I want to sink into these days full of very little, making a schedule from moment to moment, hoping for the sun to peek through. Maybe I'll pull a few weeds in the garden today.