The whole picture

The whole picture is blurred, but not because it is raining. Not because the window is dirty or painted black. The whole picture is blurry, not because of a camera mishap. The whole scene is blurry because I will not stand still.

The whole picture is blurry, and not because you are crying. Not because snotty puffy eyed feelings have encroached your night. Not because of fear or failure or loss.

The whole picture is blurry because I won’t be quiet, won’t be still.

I found a stack of cards in my basket of tarot decks this morning. I don’t know how I got these. A large yellow deck, a Pema Chodron deck. 51 sayings that help Pema Chodron out—can you imagine?

I brought them out to the back deck, inhaled, got still, and chose one. And then another. And I used these as writing prompts:

“Don’t be jealous.”

“Don’t be frivolous.”

“Keep in mind the four preliminaries: 1) Human life is precious. 2) What goes around comes around...” and so on.

Yes. This is what my life seems to be coming down to. Fruits and vegetables. Clean eating, when the guests leave. Grains, mushrooms, berries, omegas, greens, seeds.

Seeds. Kindness. Preciousness. Remembering. Stillness.

Oh yeah, and 3) Death is coming. Life does end.

And 4) Forget your self-importance.